The Official Web Site of Stephen Willand ...
"I and several other students would like to express our desire for Dr. Stephen Willand, if he is available, to instruct our Capstone course. He is one of, if not the best, in our minds, instructors at the college. He is well versed on all subjects, engaging and an extremely effective communicator. He is not afraid to step out of the box and apply the subject matter to real world situations.
Ther esults being a better understanding of textbook concepts, just discussed in
a vacuum."
Robert T.
Worcester State student
 | ||||
SELF ESTEEM IN SURROUND SOUND
I have had the distinct pleasure of teaching many classes at both the Undergraduate and Graduate level on the topic of Communication. While the exact title of the course has varied from Effective Speaking, Public Speaking, Effective Communication and many others, and while the location and timing of the course and semester have changed from one college to the next, there is, and always has been, one consistent theme that permeates all of these courses. If you have taken a college level class on communication you might be surprised by my personal key to successful communication: To be an effective communicator, and especially to be a good public speaker, it is essential that the communicator have a healthy and high level of self esteem.
Students will forever ask me to list the qualities of a good speaker, an exceptionally good speaker, and a great speaker. I, in turn, ask them to list the qualities and traits that they think are necessary to command the attention of the audience and to deliver a “standing ovation” speech. Invariably, the students will list: “know the subject matter,” “practice the delivery,” “bring notes,” and a wide range of textbook and lecture driven techniques. I then ask them to list (for my eyes only) their greatest fear of speaking in public. There has been little variation over the years in these responses; the list always includes the fear of forgetting, of turning red, of embarrassment, of public humiliation, of sweating, of losing one’s voice, of fainting and generally of looking foolish.
It has been my experience that all of the fears listed above are learned behaviors and that they are sitting deep (and sometimes not so deep) in our subconscious mind ready to pop out and attack us at precisely the wrong moment. I am also fairly certain that these fears are instilled in us through a combination of memories of bad experiences and the constant bombardment of negativity and criticism that we have been subjected to throughout our lives. There are many things in life that are uncertain, however, one certainty is that there is no limit to the number of people that will try to “put you down” or “put you in your place.” Whether parents, siblings, teachers, clergy, friends, spouses or co-workers there is a plentiful supply of people ready to list your faults and give you all the reasons why you can not, should not and will not succeed.
If fear and intimidation can be learned and sit at the forefront of our subconscious, then they can be unlearned and sent down to their rightful place in the far backside of our subconscious and be replaced by a more healthy and highly energized set of thoughts. To do this I have the students, on the first night of class, imagine their head, mind and brain as a state-of-the-art audio system with their ears serving as the input and volume control dials. I then have them conjure up all the negative, nasty, and even, evil things that have been said and done to them. They then (using the left ear dial) must turn the volume down to its lowest level so that it cannot be heard. Now, (using the right ear dial) they must play their “Greatest Hits” album and turn the volume to its highest level so as to drown out any residual noise from the other side.
The most insightful part of this exercise comes from the formulation of all of the “tracks” that the students are able to put on their Greatest Hits album. With a little prodding they list the great successes of parenthood, their children, their friends, family, school and a seemingly endless stream of fond memories and accomplishments that somehow have been relegated to a secondary position behind the negative information. They are then reminded of how they are balancing full time careers and family and still are able to be successful in a college academic setting. Rather than feel that they should have gone to college at 18, they now feel proud that they are going to school and will succeed here as they have in all other aspects of their lives.
Surround Sound with high end speakers sub-woofers and all the best equipment playing your Greatest Hits at peak volume can drown out the persistent clatter of those old worn out records that serve no productive purpose and should be sent to the nearest rubbish bin. Be careful not to confuse having high levels of self esteem with being pompous or arrogant. The album blaring in Surround Sound is not saying that you are better than other people; however it certainly is saying that no one is better than you. When you have high levels of self esteem it launches a great speech and that confidence radiates throughout the audience which instinctively feels the power emanating from a confident speaker. We all have our Greatest Hits. We should listen to them more often.
